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forgive

from the oxford english dictionary:

1. trans. To give, grant.Obs.

2. To give up, cease to harbour (resentment, wrath). Also, to give up one’s resolve (to do something). Obs. …..

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to say “I forgive you” is in a sense, redundant. it is essentially communicating a choice that we have already made, deep from within ourselves, and then shared with another — perhaps that other who we have forgiven and ceased to harbor resentment toward.

yet forgiveness takes on a quotidian character, mentioned offhand and casually, often to cover up by acts that are based on holding on, to resent, to hurt, to pain. i saw the absurd film ‘what the bleep do we know’ and at one point of the film a person talked about positive thinking often means a small amount of positive thoughts on a sea of negativity. that’s how it seems…

“yes, yes, i forgive you already…” you will say, almost exhausted by me raising this topic. yet, do you?

i think forgiveness is the most radical compassion that we can offer to another living being. because it is not required or obligated. in fact, to do those things would negate the very purpose that forgiveness exists. forgiveness is given.

derrick jensen once wrote the following of his choice to become a writer:

I recognized in my mid-twenties that because of this abuse, I would have the best excuse to not follow my dreams of becoming a writer. Who could blame me after what I’d been through? Mere emotional survival was triumph enough. The choice quickly became this: I could go the rest of my life with an airtight excuse for not doing what I wanted; or I could go the rest of my life doing what I wanted. (Endgame, 176).

so it goes for forgiveness. we might have “the best excuse” not to forgive. the question is, do we want “an airtight excuse” or do we want to forgive? i think this question might be instrinsically wrapped up in the future of healing this planet. can we challenge our boundaries of imagination? what is unforgiveable? why? are you sure? where can we forgive? where  must we stick with our airtight excuses not to?

it is not for me to tell you.

Categories: Uncategorized
  1. May 8, 2009 at 9:53 pm | #1

    i’ve been reading your blog for awhile and i especially appreciated and enjoyed this entry–thought i’d comment and say thanks. thank you!

  2. May 9, 2009 at 8:23 am | #2

    thanks stacia,
    its nice when people come out of the ether and say hi. it is definitely appreciated. i wrote this thinking of someone in particular (thus the “you” pronoun), but since it applies to other relationships as well, that’s why i posted it here.
    i hope you enjoy your day.
    crcr

  3. May 9, 2009 at 2:08 pm | #3

    Yeah, I love this. I used to consider myself as a person who would retain forgiveness; to consider some actions unforgivable. But now I see myself ready to forgive anything, because yes, I feel it is a “most radical compassion that we can offer to another living being.”
    And I really love the Derrick Jensen quote. It’s much easier to have an excuse for not doing something, and it’s a battle I think we’re all fighting in some way.

    • May 22, 2009 at 11:46 am | #4

      It seems easier to forgive or not to forgive another person, than to forgive or not to forgive myself.

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